I need a diary

I don't know who to rant to about this. And I don't know who to cry to. I don't want to bother people and make them feel upset knowing there aren't that many people who care about me as much as I care about them. I don't want to be homeless again. I don't want to not have a good friend. I don't want to be alone. I'll I'm looking for is a place called home.

Once again, my family is getting evicted. We didn't get the house up the street and have no back up plan. I don't know where to go, who to go to, or what to do with my life. This is making college very difficult and my house has collapsed to a field filled with rage and emotion. When no one is around I can hear Heather and Hooks fighting up stairs about how they need us out of the house and how we're horrible people. I guess this means I don't deserve a home.

It's been so long since I've lived in a house, a fucking common thing that people take for granted. I miss privacy and the feeling of having a home, and the last time I had that feeling was when I was dating Maxi. She was the only thing in the past two years that has made me feel at all at home, and she's already fucking gone. Now the basement, the place I live that doesn't even give me that feeling, is being taken away. What is this cruel life I lead and why me? What have I done that I deserve a situation that is most likely to flunk me out of college.

I need a place to live basically, and I have no idea where to go. I might as well just leave and never come back, because from the looks of it - this cycle is never going to end. I wasn't intended to have a home, or love, or happiness. The only thing that I've loved that hasn't hurt me is music, and once I lose that - I might as well kill myself, because then I will have nothing left to live for...

PVCC? - Oh' Golly Gee!

	This is my life right now. I am at home, alone, about to go to sleep.
	This is me writing lyrics yesterday for my new band with Peter called "My Conflict". I am excited and also very motivated.

Forgot about school... fuck.

Singles Awareness Day (Part II)

Today I woke up and played music in the bathroom while grooming myself. I spent some time updating my profile picture and playing guitar. Then my dad and I went to the house we may move into. It's two minutes up the road, small, and cute. Then I came back and got together my supplies. I went to Blythe's casa and unloaded all of the supplies. I started on making Marta my wonderful brownies. I made a batch and drank a beer, chillin and doing some dishes. The brownies finished and I let them cool while Blythe got all dolled up. We went to see Zym and work and then I went to Krogers. I searched with Blythe for the best set of flowers... in my price range. The range was wide but not too much. I picked out the ones I liked best and re-organized them into a better bouquet. A beautiful arrangement. I wrapped the bottom in a wet paper towel and some aluminum foil. I then took pink cloth and wratted it around the bottom of the bouquet. Than another strip tied in a cute lil' bow ♥ just for some one very cute. I packed up the brownies and headed to her house. Out to the car and on the seat were the two things I worked all day to make. Happy Valentines Day ♥

Although it could have been much better, hanging out with her is enough of a gift to make any day awesome.

Singles Awareness Day (Part I)

Tomorrow will be really nice out and I will be with some one really nice and since they are really nice it will be a really nice day. I hope my day is filled with adventure and cute things, thus it will be a good day. And since a good part of it will be with someone very cute it's already sounding nice. I plan to go somewhere with cute animals, and some where to make eats. Then someplace pretty and exciting and maybe new. Music sounds like a good mix, as always. Maybe kites in the park, maybe something like that? Cupcakes maybe? Sure as hell none of that chocolate cliche. Well, maybe ♥ Funny photos, and jokes, and getting to make an awesome friend. And awesome day.




We'll have to wait and see